Scene 4 - The first escape

(Couple is seen strolling in a mall. Teni pauses when she notices a restroom sign above)

Teni – Baby, I need to pee.

Ray – Me too. Where are the restrooms?

Teni – Over there. But we have to pay.

Ray – 20 cents to pee!!! Na wa o!

(Teni hands over the accessory and both go into their respective restrooms for male and female. Ray comes out first looking relaxed then starts to wait for Teni. He looks at his watch repeatedly, shakes his head, looks at the different white women coming out of the toilet whom all walk past him with concern as to why he’s standing there. Teni finally comes of the toilet but looking less than comfortable.)

Ray – Finally! People were beginning to look at me like I was some kind of pervert. Let’s go.

Teni – I haven’t peed yet. I can’t unbuckle this your belt.

Ray – (laughs) Serious? Ok, let me try.

(Ray stoops down and is visibly struggling with unfastening the buckle. From the view of passing shoppers it is a compromising position and Teni feels a bit embarrassed. At one point Ray appears to be pulling the buckle which makes Teni’s pelvis jerk back and forth in front of his face.)

Ray – Mehn…this thing is stuck!

Teni – (Responds sarcastically) You think?

Ray – You’re the one who didn’t fasten this properly.

Teni – Baby, how else was I supposed to fasten it. I don’t know how it got stuck.

Ray – Let me try and use the apartment key to unlock your chastity belt.

Teni – Oh, so it’s now my chastity belt! I don’t have your time now. Babe hurry! This pee is going to come out.

Ray – Eh? Wait o biko! Aaaaaand there we go – all done.

Teni – Aaaaaah, thanks babe!

(She dashes off into the restroom and comes out minutes later refreshed)

Ray – Feeling better?

Teni – Better is an understatement. Let’s go home.

(They arrive at the apartment and they both squeeze their faces).

Teni – Baby, can you smell that?

Ray – Yeah, I’m not sure they’ve fixed the toilet. Let me go down and check.

(He runs down while Teni sits and drops the bags)

Ray – Áyakata! (he runs back upstairs)

Teni – What’s wrong babe?

Ray – The water level in the toilet bowl has risen and it’s…very dirty. The floor is also flooded. It’s a no-go down there.

Teni – What the h£ll? This is nonsense. Absolute rubbish. Did Eugene even come here like he promised?

Ray – Let me check my phone. He actually sent a message while we were out, ‘The repair guy came to fix the toilet but the ejector pump needs to be replaced. They won’t be able to work on this till tomorrow.’

Teni – What? (Starts to pace) We can’t stay here babe.

(Whips out her laptop and starts typing away)

Ray – What are you doing babe?

Teni – I’m searching for another apartment

Ray – Okaay…I’ll make us some dinner. What would you like to eat.

Teni – Anything babe (she doesn’t take her eyes off her laptop. A few hisses ensue). Can I have some of that wine we bought?

Ray – Sure (pours her a full glass and she takes a big gulp to Ray’s amazement and Teni gestures for a refill. He takes the pizza out of the oven and serves it to Teni. She scoffs it quickly.) Take it easy baby.

Teni – Mehn, I’m really p!ssed and I feel responsible ‘cos I booked this place. It wasn’t meant to turn out like this…mscheew

Ray – Baby, relax. These things ca-

Teni – (Interrupts). I can’t relax, babe! I want to pee and I can’t!

Ray – Ok. We’ll leave tonight. I’m fine with any apartment you choose.

Teni – Baby you have to get in touch with the travel agent’s customer care about a refund.

(There’s a knock on the door. Teni and Ray look at each other surprised. Ray opens the door and sees Eugene.)

Eugene – Hi. So sorry to disturb you at this time…

Ray – Mehn, I don’t know what to say – I thought that the toilet would have been sorted out by the time we got back.

Eugene – The plumber was here this afternoon and he said the whole ejector pump will have to be changed. That’s not going to be done in one day. So I got a reservation at a nice hotel just up the road.

Ray – Oh really? Baby, do you want us to go and see it?

Teni – Like yesterday. Let’s just take a few things and then we can come back tomorrow to take the rest.

(They pack light and switch of the light on their way out).

(End of scene)