Part 2: Along Came Cosmos

Cosmos was really feeling himself. He had returned to Nigeria and back to his old hood to show his old friends that he was superior to them. His journey out of Nigeria had been carefully planned and executed by his sister, Perpetua.

The story of Perpetua was one for the ghetto ledger. Several hood girls used it as their prayer point in their various Churches. Perpetua, at age 26, gave up on Nigeria and poverty and decided to try the Italy route. She had resigned herself and her v@gina to fate and psyched herself up for the odious task of prostituting in Europe. Perpetua’s first night out on the streets of Milan had been a sexual jackpot. Her first customer happened to be a man in his mid-50s, who not only loved black girls but also had a successful shoe manufacturing business. Perpetua didn’t know this then. She was just glad she got a customer for the night and made sure she gave him the best of her skills, sexually. A week later, she was living with the man. Two months later, they were married. Perpetua’s luck in Italy rubbed off on her family. In one year abroad, she’d sent good money home to upgrade her family and even sent money down for her father to buy a car. By the second year, she had arranged for Cosmos to join her in Italy.

Before Cosmos left Nigeria, he didn’t have a job and spent most of his days lounging with his hood pals or visiting sugar mummies in Festac. He was a jobless gigolo who had unknowingly fathered three children with three of his very married Sugar Mummies. Three and a half years later, he returned to Nigeria with his fat Italian wife, who looked like a 5-foot-4 garden gnome. The news of Cosmos’ arrival had hit Koso Street, and loads of the street niggers were prepping to go and see him at the newly renovated Jolly-Time Hotel, where Chekwube’s father used to work as Manager.

Chekwube vaguely remembered Cosmos. Her sister, Udochika, had had a massive crush on him way back then and even had a few sexual dalliances with him. Chekwube remembered how Udochika and Ogochukwu discussed Cosmos in hushed tones at night when they lay on their flattened mattress. Back then, she couldn’t tell if Udochika was in love with Cosmos or his sexual prowess. Either way, her sister was shattered when he traveled. Chekwube had heard the rumor that since relocating to Italy, Perpetua had bought land and was building a house on Cocaine Avenue. She’d also heard that Cosmos was doing very well in Europe, working in his Italian in-laws' shoe factory, and that he had almost completed his own house that he was building in Amuwo Odofin. Like everyone else on Koso Street, she was curious to see what changes Europe had offered to Cosmos.

At 6 p.m., she showered and prepped to go out. Her destination was Mosquito Garden – A name that the hoodrats rudely assigned to Moschinos Garden, an outdoor drinking pub that had point-and-kill, nkwobi, and barbecued chicken 24/7. Everybody who was anybody visited Mosquito Garden, and the owners made a tidy killing daily. Chekwube didn’t know if Cosmos would show up at the outdoor pub, but seeing as it was Adjacent to Jolly-Time Hotel, she kept her fingers crossed.

“Mama, I dey come abeg. I wan quickly touch Mosquito Garden to see person. I no go tay.” Chekwube told her mother.

The older woman smiled and nodded in approval. Her father, who had been reading his bible in the living room, looked up in disgust as Chekwube breezed past without a word to him. The elderly man shook his head, gave his wife a look of disgust, and returned to his bible.

Her journey to Mosquito Garden was just a hundred-naira bike ride from her house. As she paid off the bike, she heard Irone’s voice and groaned inwardly. She did not like Irone and didn’t think she could stomach his childish ways much longer. She had only let the incident of the morning slide because she didn’t want to call the D.P.O for a case as minor as Irone’s insults. With a sigh, she walked through the gates of Mosquito Garden. The place was already buzzing with activity. The generator was on and noisy, and the lewd sound of Flavor N’abania that oozed from the speakers fought valiantly to drown the generator noise.

“…… Ashawo, awusha, awusha, ashawo… Baby sawa lele… Sawa, sawa, sawa le… Sawa, sawa, sawa le.. Aaaaaasssh …..”

Irone was the first to spot her. He was only half a bottle of star gone, but his voice was already slurry. Chekwube didn’t know if it was the thought of free booze that had excited him to a tipsy state or if his imbecility was beginning to show. Either way, she didn’t like the attention he drew to her person.

“Choucho! Choucho international! Choucho for the man dem!!! Choucho runtown!!!!!!” Irone kept going as all eyes turned to her. She sighed, rolled her eyes, and plastered a smile on her face as she approached their table.

Cosmos and his fat wife were seated, drinking Whiskey. There were bottles of Hennessy, Black Label, energy drinks, and, of course, beer on the table in front of them. She mentally counted the guys at the table with Cosmos and his wife.

Harold, Taofeek, Irone, Gbenga, Sesan, Ebenezer, Friday, Adokiye, James, Uti, Uzo, Arthur, Onome. The whole entourage of agbaya misfits and freeloaders was here.

Several tables had been joined together to contain the association of freeloaders. Cosmos looked at her with an amused smile.

“Helloooow…” He said in an accent that Chekwube was sure wasn’t American or Italian.

“Good evening,” she greeted him back.

“Are you a friend of my guy here?” Cosmos pointed at Irone.

“Choucho na everybody friend. You know dat kain intimate friend nau…” Irone chortled at his own humor.

“Chai Bros Irone… Only one beer and you done scatter your brain for ground like fawul food. Borrow small shame na...” Chekwube replied to him with a cold smile.

“Bia Choucho… You don’t have respect, abi? Common gettout dia,Eediot!” Uzo barked out in Irone’s defense.

“Hey! Heeey!! Guys relax. You don’t talk to a lady like that, yo. It's not cool.” Cosmos told them. Chekwube shook her head, more out of amusement for Cosmos’s accent than the stupidity of the freeloaders.

“This one na lady? Cosmos leave matter. This one wey dey cancel men like serial killer.” Adokiye added.

“HEEEEEY!” Cosmos got up angrily. “I said, Cool it, guys. You don’t disrespect a lady. In Europe, your @ss would be in jail for that.”

The freeloaders had the grace to look ashamed, but Chekwube suspected it was because of fear of losing the free booze.

“Thank you, bros, but I’m used to them and their insults,” Chekwube said with a smile.

“Naaaw… You shouldn’t be used to insults. I have a good mind of making them apologize,” Cosmos said and gave the freeloaders dirty looks.

“There’s no need bros. I’m leaving sef. The person I came to see is not here yet, so lemme be going.” She said and made to turn away.

Cosmos held her hand and gently tugged her back. Chekwube smiled to herself before turning to face him. Cosmos was tall, buff, and ruggedly good-looking in an akpa-obi kind of way. His stay in Europe had smoothed out his skin, and he had put on weight in the right places. He wore a sleeveless T-shirt that showed off both his tattooed, toned arms.

“You don’t have to go. Come sit with us and let’s have fun. This is my wife, Abrianna… Abrianna, this is…?” He turned to Chekwube expectantly.

“My name is Chekwube…” She offered as she shook hands with Cosmos’ wife.

All Chekwube could see in the woman was long, flowing, dirty brown hair, a fat face with a sharply pointed nose, deep brown eyes, pinched lips, and an even fatter body. She looked like a badly drawn cartoon maggot with a long brown wig on, but Chekwube smiled pleasantly at the woman and was not surprised that the woman did not return the smile. Cosmos beckoned to one of the serving girls to bring a chair for Chekwube and stood with her until the chair arrived. After her drink had been ordered and served, Cosmos turned to Chekwube with a smile.

“Chekwube… That name sounds kinda familiar.” He said.

“Of course na…” Said Gbenga. “She is Udochika’s younger sister. Remember Udochika? That your old-time side-krawkraw?”

“Oh my!!! You’re all grown. See small Chekwube o. How is Udo? Where is she?” Cosmos sounded really excited and interested.

“Udo is in Ghana. She lives and schools there.” Her response elicited disrespectful, mocking chuckles from a few of the freeloaders, but she ignored them.

“That’s great, maybe later, I’ll get her phone number and give her a surprise buzz,” Cosmos said. Chekwube smiled and sipped her drink.

The rest of the evening rolled by. Cosmos ordered Point-and-kill fish pepper soup for everyone, then some barbecued chicken and more drinks. By 9 pm, almost all the freeloaders were drunk. All through the hangout, Cosmos’s fat wife never said a word to anyone, save for a few hushed whispers in her husband’s ears. But the woman stared at her a lot, and it made Chekwube really uneasy. A short while later, Chekwube smiled, got up, and announced that she was leaving after thanking Cosmos for the umpteenth time. This time, Cosmos did not try to stop her or convince her to stay a while longer.

No one saw Cosmos slip her a note, and no one bothered when she walked out of Mosquito Garden alone, unescorted.

On her Bike ride home, Chekwube opened the note and read it.

“Come to my hotel – Jolly Time Hotel – and tell the receptionist that you want to see Rico. Come at 11:30.”

Chekwube let out a triumphant laugh as she wondered which of the items on her bucket list she was going to check sooner rather than later.