Chapter 1: The boy I couldn't stand

In 2022, I was fifteen years old, in SS2, and convinced that I couldn't stand one particular boy.

He was tall, slim, and usually the smartest person in the class. Teachers noticed him, students knew him, and somehow, he always seemed to be doing well. I wouldn't say he was the most handsome boy I'd ever seen, and his English accent wasn't exactly impressive either. Yet, there was something about him that annoyed me more than it probably should have.

Maybe part of it was jealousy. I was one of the best students in my class, usually among the top three, and I didn't particularly enjoy how much attention he received. Whatever the reason, I found myself picking on him, making comments, and arguing with him whenever the opportunity presented itself.

At the time, I didn't understand why I cared so much.

Looking back, I think I was already feeling something I wasn't ready to admit. But at fifteen, it was easier to convince myself that I disliked him than to consider the possibility that I might actually like him.

Then came the day we had a serious argument in class.

It wasn't a quiet disagreement that could be forgotten after a few minutes. The whole class watched as we exchanged insults, neither of us willing to back down. I was angry, he was angry, and everyone seemed entertained by the drama unfolding in front of them.

Eventually, my friends took me back to the hostel.

Instead of simply comforting me, they started asking questions. Why was I always insulting him? Why did I seem to have so much to say about him? One of them suggested that sometimes, the people you think you dislike are the very people you end up falling for.

I didn't want to hear it.

The idea was ridiculous. How could I possibly like someone I argued with so much?

Later, we met at the refectory, and we apologised to each other. Just like that, the argument was over.

But something about the way my friends had questioned me stayed in my mind.

That same year, my sister was involved in a serious accident that left her with a brain injury and partial paralysis. It was an incredibly difficult period for my family, and seeing my sister go through so much was painful. I spent time visiting her at the hospital, and there were moments when I didn't know how to process everything that was happening around me.

Even with everything going on, life at school continued.

And somewhere in the middle of all that, my feelings for the boy began to change.

I had already told my best friend that I thought I liked him, although I was still trying to understand what that meant. When I returned to school after visiting my sister, I started making more of an effort to talk to him.

I would ask how he was doing. After night preparation, I sometimes told him goodnight. I even borrowed his notebook, partly because I needed it and partly because I liked having something that belonged to him.

It sounds silly now, but those little things meant something to me.

We started talking more often. We sat near each other in class, and gradually, the boy I had spent so much time arguing with became someone I genuinely enjoyed being around.

The feelings that had once confused and annoyed me began to make sense.

I was falling for him.

And as it turned out, I wasn't the only one.

We were both introverted, and neither of us was particularly experienced with relationships. We didn't know exactly what we were doing, and we didn't suddenly become confident just because we liked each other. If anything, the feelings made some things more awkward.

But there was something beautiful about it.

We were figuring things out together, one conversation at a time.

Then we had to work on a computer project together, and I remember thinking that the whole situation felt like something out of a romance story. The boy I had once considered my rival was now someone I looked forward to spending time with.

I never would have imagined that happening at the beginning of the year.

During the midterm break, he gave me a wristwatch.

It was the first gift he ever gave me, and I was genuinely so happy. It might have seemed like a small thing to someone else, but to me, it meant a lot. I kept thinking about it because it was one of the first times I had received something from a boy I actually liked.

When we returned to school, things continued between us. We helped each other academically, spent time together, and grew closer as the days passed.

We never officially sat down and labelled ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend, but we behaved like a couple. We cared about each other, made time for each other, and shared something that felt real to both of us.

Neither of us had the courage to do much physically. We were too shy, and even the smallest gestures could make things awkward.

But we were happy.

At least, I was.

And for the first time, I started wondering whether the boy I'd once considered my rival might actually become my first love.

To be continued...