CHOICES THAT BUILD NOT BREAK

Begin writing your story here...Choices That Build, Not Break

(True Reflection on Life, Love, and Mistakes By Doc-Cally)

CHOICE THAT BUILD NOT BREAK

(It's not all about love..... A life changing decision for youth)

BY UDEMBA MARY-CYNTHIA KOSISOCHUKWU (DOC-CALLY)

That day, I didn’t plan for anything special.

I just wanted to braid my hair.

You know those days you step out without thinking something memorable could happen?

That was me. I walked into the salon expecting nothing more than the sound of hair dryers, gossip, and the smell of relaxer. But life has a way of using the most ordinary days to teach us extraordinary lessons.

As I sat there, waiting for my stylist to start, a man walked in, one of those regular faces you can’t easily place but feel you’ve seen before. He greeted the ladies, joked a little, and then sat near the mirror, scrolling through his phone. I didn’t think much of it. My stylist began parting my hair, chatting about prices of attachments and Christmas braids.

Then my eyes drifted to the other side of the room. That was when I noticed her.

She was a young woman beautiful in a quiet, weary way. Her name was Stephanie. I’d seen her once or twice before, but that day she looked different. She wasn’t alone. She was sitting close to a man not her husband, I later realized.

And beside them… lay her little child.

The child must have been barely two years old small, delicate, innocent. Her tiny dress was dirty, and she had urinated on herself. The floor beneath her was damp. She didn’t cry much, she just lay there, eyes half open, the kind of stillness that breaks your heart.

I couldn’t stop looking. My heart sank.

Meanwhile, Stephanie and the man beside her were talking, laughing, touching each other in ways that made it clear they were not just friends. They were flirting, lost in their own world. Her ring finger had a dull gold band, but at that moment, it didn’t seem to matter to her.

And the man, he knew she was married. But he didn’t care either.

I kept asking myself, “Why? Why here? Why now?”

It wasn’t anger I felt. It was sadness. Not because I wanted to judge, but because the whole scene felt like a reflection of the quiet mistakes people make when no one’s watching.

The child shifted on the floor, crying softly. I wanted to carry her, to clean her up, to wrap her in something warm. But I couldn’t. I just watched silently and prayed in my heart, “God, please, don’t let me ever live like this.

Don’t let me marry by mistake.

Don’t let me build a life that will make me cry every day.

That single moment felt like a mirror held up to my soul.

Because, truth be told, many people don’t plan to end up broken, they just stop paying attention.

As my hairdresser continued, I could feel tears pushing behind my eyes. Stephanie laughed loudly at something the man said. Her voice carried across the room. For a second, I looked around, everyone seemed to ignore the obvious. Some were pretending not to see, others simply didn’t care.

That’s when it hit me,

We live in a world where people get so used to wrong things that they stop feeling.

A mother can forget her child for the warmth of another man’s touch.

A man can forget his vows for a few moments of comfort.

And an innocent and pure child becomes the silent victim of adult mistakes.

I thought of how many people start life with pure dreams, only to lose their way because of pressure, the pressure to belong, to be loved, to prove something to others.

Stephanie’s marriage, I learned, wasn’t planned. She got married because things happened. She wasn’t ready, but life pushed her. Maybe loneliness did. Maybe fear did.

And now, here she was still searching for what she thought marriage would give her.

I whispered to myself again, “Some people don’t mean to fall, they just stop thinking.

Some don’t mean to betray, they just stop praying.

And some don’t mean to lose control, they just follow their feelings instead of wisdom.

That day, I realized something deep, we don’t choose consequences, we choose actions. But consequences will always come, whether we expect them or not.

I want to say this to every young person listening or reading this,

"Don’t let temporary emotions destroy permanent peace".

You may think the decisions you make today won’t matter but one day, they will. Every “yes” you give to the wrong thing becomes a seed that grows into regret. Every careless step taken without prayer becomes a scar that time can’t erase.

Don’t marry because you feel pressured.

Don’t love someone just because you’re lonely.

Don’t chase what looks good on the outside but empties your soul inside.

The truth is, life doesn’t break people all at once.

It breaks them slowly.

One compromise at a time.

One ignored warning at a time.

One “it’s not that deep” at a time.

Stephanie’s story reminded me that sin or mistakes don’t always come with loud alarms. They come with whispers, soft enough to sound harmless, strong enough to lead you astray.

I don’t know what pain she carried inside her heart. Maybe she felt unloved, unwanted, or unseen by her husband. But what I saw that day was a woman trying to fill emptiness the wrong way.

And that little girl lying on the floor became a symbol in my mind.

She represented innocence suffering because of confusion.

She was every child watching adults make decisions they didn’t deserve.

She was every dream that got stained by someone else’s mistake.

When I got home that evening, I couldn’t stop thinking. I couldn’t even eat. I kept remembering that baby’s eyes, the soft whimper she made. I sat on my bed and prayed, “Lord, please, help me never to be the reason someone else cries.

Help me to be wise, even when I’m emotional.

Help me to build a life that will not collapse on the innocent.”

I understood something spiritual that day,

It’s not every emotion that deserves action.

Some feelings come as tests, not invitations.

Some temptations appear as comfort, but they’re traps.

That’s why wisdom and self-control are not signs of weakness they’re signs of strength.

You see, my experience at that salon wasn’t just a random story, it was a mirror to our generation.

We live in times where people confuse love with attention, and commitment with convenience.

Many marriages today aren’t built on purpose they’re built on panic.

People rush because they fear being left behind.

They accept proposals not because of conviction, but because of comparison.

But, dear youth

Peace is better than pressure.

Purpose is better than popularity.

Waiting is better than regretting.

If you lose your peace to keep someone, you’ve already lost yourself.

When I think of Stephanie, I don’t feel hatred. I feel compassion. Because she represents the reality of many.

People carrying burdens they never planned for, living lives they don’t understand, making decisions they later regret all because they wanted to feel loved, or seen, or enough.

But what if we paused before acting?

What if we prayed before choosing?

What if we allowed time to reveal what feelings try to hide?

That day in the salon changed me.

It taught me that real maturity isn’t about age or position , it’s about awareness.

It’s about learning from what you see, not repeating it.

I left the salon quietly. But as I stepped outside, the breeze touched my face, and I said out loud, “God, please, don’t let me build my life on a mistake.

Don’t let me choose out of fear.

Don’t let me lose myself while trying to be loved.”

That prayer has stayed with me ever since.

So, to every young man and woman reading this,

Life will test you with choices.

Some will look harmless, others will feel urgent.

But remember, every decision you make is shaping a story you’ll one day tell.

Let your story be one of peace, not pain.

Let your name be linked with purpose, not pity.

Let your choices build, not break

Because one day, you’ll look back and I pray, you’ll smile, not regret.

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